Do people change?

I have wondered how people feel about this for a while. I happen to know that people’s behavior changes over time due to direct observation. And I know that there are several people that work on “bettering” or changing themselves in one way or another. But do they believe that other people can change?

If you knew someone from years ago that was a bit of a crap-head would you just assume that they are still that way today? What if you could see the actions of the person and see that even though they may not be the saint that you obviously are, they do not behave in the same manner they once did? Even if the social group you hang around keep bringing up the past and accusing that person of stuff that sounds like something they might have once did, would you believe that it might be possible they are not the same person they once were?

Or, if someone makes a mistake in the past are they forever doomed to be held to and judged by that mistake?

Let’s look at if a different way. What if you knew someone and long ago they were just the best person in the world? They could do no wrong. If a crime was committed and all evidence pointed to them would you believe or even consider that they might have done it?

How many people have been in a position of authority? And had to deal with unruly subordinates? Have you ever assigned an important task to the “class clown” because you knew that having that responsibility would give them the opportunity to “rise to the occasion?” Did that person change or were they given the opportunity to explore different aspects of their personality? Or maybe they grew a little because of it and are in a constant state or ever changing. As I suspect many of us are.

I know that any of us can go to “I’m right dot come” and find some study, peer review or “research” that backs their theory on the subject matter. What I am curious of is people personal experiences and opinions.

What do you think?

Can People Really Change?

There are things about myself that i don’t like. When i try to change them i often encouter a barrier , i keep on doing things that i want to change sometimes unaware that i am doing it. Changing myself is a long and painful proces of saying goodbye to well established patterns that often resulted in bad consequenses. An important part of wanting to change is to accept the way you are now , to love yourself as you are , with all your flaws , change has to come from within and is so much harder when you hate yourself. The voice that tells you that you cannot change is very strong and will sabotage your efforts.

So, how do you change?

It’s a process that begins with being aware. This may seem obvious, but it’s not. If you’re used to blaming everyone else for your problems, then you’re not aware. If you’re living your life in a daze, blaming bad luck, then you’re in denial. How are you ever going to change anything if you don’t own up to how your thinking and behavior help create the predicament you’re in? Self-awareness without judgment, similar to an anthropologist observing behavior in an attempt to understand it, is the first step. Next to that one needs a no nonsense approach to changing oneself , it needs to be a life goal , a goal on which many fail. For yourself to change you have to have no more excuses. No more magical thinking. No more self-sabotage.

Acknowledgement , the need for self-discipline, perseverance, and hard work. You know what you need to do to change , Adopting new ways rarely comes comfortably at first. You may feel a lot of resistance to change. But if you think about change as an opportunity to grow, not as an unwanted burden, amazing things can happen.
But sometimes people fall back in old habits , especially when they are put in familiar surroundings with people that trigger them , its good to look at that and not avoid those situations , seeing change has to happen from within

So yeah i think that people can change , but not many really do change.
You asked a lot of questions Wes that i cannot answer because i take every "case"as an individual one , with some people it makes me smile because they did not change , others ..i will never speak to again

I knew a kid one time, a long while back, that was a bit of a trouble maker. A class clown so to say. And no one thought very much of him. In fact, you could say pretty much any kind of crazy thing and people would just believe it. No proof, not knowing if any ever did that thing, they would just believe it.

This kid got assigned to me at work. So after a little time and I got to know what he was capable f I gave him responsibilities. The more I expected of him, the better he would perform. Sure, at first it was a little rocky. But whoever started something being an expert at it!?!?

A few months later one of the other supervisors told me that I needed to fire him because he had done this and that. I asked him where he heard that from and he told me that everyone knew it. I was amazed. I also happen to know that he didn’t do it. How, he was with me doing exactly what I told him, when I told him and in my line of sight the entire time. I never found out where the rumor/story came from. But things like that would pop up from time to time. And what always amazed me is how people just believed the hear-say with no proof or evidence that it ever happened.

I’m not sure what happened to him after I left. I think he went and got another job doing a similar thing somewhere else. Where he didn’t have a history.

Of course, I’ve known people that were nasty pieces of work and not only showed no sign of change but embraced their horribleness. So, who knows

Some people will never give you a chance and they would rather rely on old gossip and old feelings and hold on to some kind of grudge even if they dont know you and never ask you ..., as much as i try to have every encounter as the first time , we all suffer from prejudice one way or another